Wednesday, March 25, 2009


“For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe on him, but also to suffer for him,” (Philippians 1:29)

When I think of being granted something I think of a prize. You know like I grant you the power to fly... Whoo Hoo. I mean that sounds fun right. But, when I was doing my reading tonight and came across this. The prize my flesh runs to is obveous, I get to believe in him. This is something I am thankful for (not nearly as much as I should be, because I'm human) but, "to suffer for him". Am I really thankful for that. I mean thanks for listening to me gripe God, thanks for letting me praise and worship, thanks for giving me the Holy Spirit, thanks for my family, my church, but Thanks for letting me suffer for you? I promise this is not something I have ever said. I am going to have to spend sometime with this one. 

This whole blogging world has introduced me to a lot of things to pray for. Babies, Families, Other Mom's. When they suffer. I pray because I don't see suffering as a prize I see it as a punishment. I am so burdened for some of these things it brings me to tears that they might be suffering for Christ because they have been granted that. I know that. I guess in the midst of life it's not the PC thing I want to go to. Praise God that he grants the suffering in our lives I have peace that he is there also. So I write this with a humbled heart.

Lord, forgive me for being so short sighted and forgetting once again that you have a hand in everything. That you grant the things that come into our lives. Thank you for showing me this and continue to work on my foolish thought process's. You are the one in control. 

Ephesians 6:19 Pray also for me, that whenever I open my mouth, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, 20 for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should.


love you guys.

Sunday, March 8, 2009


How beautiful is this? Really sometimes I wish our walk was meant to be this optimistic and easy all the time. This was funny that I stubbled upon this saying on a fellow bloggers page. She said it came to her and spoke so loudly she just had to pause. Really I did too when I read it. It let me take a big deep breath. I have been stuggling with my Trust in God lately. I mean does he always want our rocks to be crushed to stepping stones or sometimes is a rock just a rock? Do we de sensitise our situations to one another because it's easier to hid behind them that way. I confess that I do this. 
This is an area I am really praying God will work on me with. My flesh is way to loud in my head and sometimes I feel like it drowns out my faith. I trust God? Yes, I do. I always try and have an optimistic answer, a moment of encouragement for people, but in doing that do I pull the wool over the fact that sometimes God wants us to go through things and they are just not going to be fun. 
Where is the line between encouraging and "Oprah moments" of compassion?
 By that I mean not really allowing anyone to hurt, or feel in the moment 
because it's easier than saying "let me pray with you?"
Trust me God knows I don't want to sound like Oprah. 
To me trust ends with a positive fair outcome. I am trying to be teachable and see that with God this is not the definition he ever has to apply to him self. I guess I need to see trust as a confidence I have in God to deliver what he say's he will. Not give us more than we can handle. That he uses the things he puts us through so that we can be compassionate to others with the compassion he gave us. I know these things and I say them to others all the time. I guess in situations lately I just don't get how that is fair.
(I know God doesn't have to be fair. It just makes more sense in my head that way)
I wish I had the same "understanding" as Jackson. He just trusts me. Wholeheartedly. I mean granted he can't process things like I can but maybe that part of my problem. All he has is love and trust. Thats it. He knows he will be taken care of. 
Now if it were only that easy.

here are some verses I have been praying with this weekend. I am trying to pray with scripture because I find my mind is to crazy to stay focused 5 seconds other wise. I didn't want this to sound "down" because that is not how I feel. I am a little encouraged to think that God may have me go through things so he can use me somewhere else. If it was always so pretty would we really ever grow? I am just trying to get better at the trusting thing, thats all. 
I hope you all have a wonderful week. 

Psalm 9:9-11 

9The LORD also will be a stronghold for the oppressed,
A stronghold in times of trouble; 
10And those who know Your name will put their trust in You,
For You, O LORD, have not forsaken those who seek You. 
11Sing praises to the LORD, who dwells in Zion;
Declare among the peoples His deeds.

Titus 3:7-9 (New American Standard Bible)

7so that being justified by His grace we would be made heirs according to the hope of eternal life.
8This is a trustworthy statement; and concerning these things I want you to speak confidently, so that those who have believed God will be careful to engage in good deeds. These things are good and profitable for men.
9But avoid foolish controversies and genealogies and strife and disputes about the Law, for they are unprofitable and worthless.

1 Timothy 1:15 (New American Standard Bible)

15It is a trustworthy statement, deserving full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, among whom I am foremost of all.

A place to talk...

I think sometimes I just want to talk. I want a place I can put the randomness that comes out of me down. I'm just the kind of person who works through things better like that. 

I have a God that...
Psalm 139:14 

 I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Wonderful are Your works,
And my soul knows it very well.

this is my yearning for the Lord to give Thanks. Something I'm working on as a child of his, a wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend. To think he took the time to choose me. It's overwhelming to say the least.

I have another blog that is all about Jackson . Check that one out to watch me swoon over my sweet boy. 

This one is more a place to just talk about God, being a wife, and my life in general. Sometimes about all three and sometimes none of them. Sometimes I may just tell you about a cute top I saw or a neat idea I want to remember. See randomness. Who knows what your gonna get. I guess that will be half the fun.