fearfully and wonderfully

Songs that make me happy.

2009-12-06T19:53:00.001-08:00

Some times you just need to sing along.

{{ I am not a huge Oprah fan but, I am in love with Faith Hills voice and this song.}}

A Moment of Rambles

2009-11-14T21:07:00.001-08:00

Let your unfailing love surround us, Lord, for our hope is in You alone. Psalm 33:22

This has been a week. You know one of those that never seems to end, and then when it does it feels like it was 20 days long? Do you ever have those? I have wanted to share about some things that have been happening but, honestly have been a little afraid to put them out there. Can you tell it's been awhile since I came here and got honest?

{This is to catch you up}

The Mr and I were having some issues, some Big Ol' Bumps in the road.

Yep, we were.

Mr and Mrs "got it together".

We went through our first rough patch after 7 years and it was a doozy!

Was it the baby? Work? Us?

I think it was God.

We both lost focus and got wrapped up in life but, the separate ones we were leading.

I was a mom, friend, but not a great wife. He was a dad, a boss, but not a great husband.

It came to a head when we realized that for about 6 months we had been roommates and not partners. Not even friends really. I was lonely in my own house and so was he.

I am only sharing this with you with his permission of course.

I think we forgot that we were supposed to face one another and not the same direction.

You see it doesn't work if you do that. If you both have goals things you want to happen and that is your focus. Even though your going the same direction, it's dangerous not to stay face to face. We were both so focused on Jackson and life we forgot each other. We needed help. I honestly had not shared this with anyone. I was so embarrassed. We were embarrassed, How did we get here? We went to our pastor and his wife and quite literally had a "Come to Jesus". A time where we got honest with each other and had to refocus ourselves back to the Lord. Things have been better.

Perfect, No. Better, yes.

I would say we are on the right track. We started praying together as a family again. We are also making sure that while Jackson is our #1 man, we are each others first love.

So this is where we are now. We remember now, how fun it is to date each other. Praying together is the most intimate thing we do together, it flows into other aspects of our lives.

It's been amazing. We both feel like we can breathe again.

I encourage you to not only pray for your significant other, but together.

Now onto this week.

It has been a roller coaster.

We had Jackson's 12 week assessment at therapy. Things are going well. When we look at where we started, we have come so far. My heart still aches for him to walk now. I am praying for patience for myself and Jackson. I know you all will celebrate with me the day my little man will be running around, until then I am confident we are on the right track. Mrs. Cheryl and Danielle (his physical therapist's) are amazing and have been just wonderful with Jackson.

Roller Coaster

I have asked for Prayer before for Baby Stellan on my other blog. He is the child of a woman I do not know but, have felt so lead to pray for. Stellan had SVT and it was winning. His poor body was losing the war. Then as if God wanted it to look that way

(not "as if", he knew what he was doing all long) he took Stellan from his death bed and healed him through the hands of his Doctor's.

"I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

It was a miracle. We were blessed to watch a miracle.

Roller Coaster

Then yesterday we received news that a dear sister in Christ's father was in a terrible motorcycle accident. I won't go into details but, I will tell you her story is one of an obedience that is so beautiful. Wendy is such an amazing woman. Someone I look up to so much, even though she would never want that attention. Her father is someone who was a support in her life in more ways than one, and dear friends he did not make it. She is left with three precious children to care for. I am heartbroken and ask that you would pray for this family.

Roller Coaster.

Then an email this morning.

My sweet friend Emily was blessed with her precious, healthy, chubby cheeked, baby boy yesterday. Mr. Justin, he is perfection I tell you, and when we meet in person (hopefully soon) I will have pictures to share.

It's times like this I am so glad I have someone to pray with. To pray for our friends we love, babies we don't know, babies we are so excited to add to our family, and our own to start his next adventure. Yesterday I didn't have the words to pray and Brian was able to step in and say them for us. I am thankful for Brian, so blessed to have him. This life is so precious and so fragile. A loss and a new baby. This week has been a roller coaster.

If you made it this far. I would ask once again that you hold Wendy and her family up in prayer. Please, tell me if you ever want me to pray for you. At the least and most I hope you know we are always here for that.

Beautiful.

2009-04-29T22:22:00.000-07:00

Weeping may endure for a night,but joy comes in the morning. Psalms 30.5

Thank God for the Joy, and that we can weep in the night (when needed). That's all.

Wait, and this...

Let your unfailing love surround us, Lord, for our hope is in You alone. Psalm 33:22

We have been going through some great stuff at church. It has really got me in the "things that make you go hmmm?" thinking. I am glad though. Man, to be chosen is a precious gift. One that I know I don't stand in awe of enough.

Humbled.

2009-03-25T23:18:00.001-07:00

“For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe on him, but also to suffer for him,” (Philippians 1:29)

When I think of being granted something I think of a prize. You know like I grant you the power to fly... Whoo Hoo. I mean that sounds fun right. But, when I was doing my reading tonight and came across this. The prize my flesh runs to is obveous, I get to believe in him. This is something I am thankful for (not nearly as much as I should be, because I'm human) but, "to suffer for him". Am I really thankful for that. I mean thanks for listening to me gripe God, thanks for letting me praise and worship, thanks for giving me the Holy Spirit, thanks for my family, my church, but Thanks for letting me suffer for you? I promise this is not something I have ever said. I am going to have to spend sometime with this one.

This whole blogging world has introduced me to a lot of things to pray for. Babies, Families, Other Mom's. When they suffer. I pray because I don't see suffering as a prize I see it as a punishment. I am so burdened for some of these things it brings me to tears that they might be suffering for Christ because they have been granted that. I know that. I guess in the midst of life it's not the PC thing I want to go to. Praise God that he grants the suffering in our lives I have peace that he is there also. So I write this with a humbled heart.

Lord, forgive me for being so short sighted and forgetting once again that you have a hand in everything. That you grant the things that come into our lives. Thank you for showing me this and continue to work on my foolish thought process's. You are the one in control.

Ephesians 6:19 Pray also for me, that whenever I open my mouth, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, 20 for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should.

Amen.

love you guys.

Trust

2009-03-08T00:17:00.000-08:00

How beautiful is this? Really sometimes I wish our walk was meant to be this optimistic and easy all the time. This was funny that I stubbled upon this saying on a fellow bloggers page. She said it came to her and spoke so loudly she just had to pause. Really I did too when I read it. It let me take a big deep breath. I have been stuggling with my Trust in God lately. I mean does he always want our rocks to be crushed to stepping stones or sometimes is a rock just a rock? Do we de sensitise our situations to one another because it's easier to hid behind them that way. I confess that I do this.

This is an area I am really praying God will work on me with. My flesh is way to loud in my head and sometimes I feel like it drowns out my faith. I trust God? Yes, I do. I always try and have an optimistic answer, a moment of encouragement for people, but in doing that do I pull the wool over the fact that sometimes God wants us to go through things and they are just not going to be fun.

Where is the line between encouraging and "Oprah moments" of compassion?

By that I mean not really allowing anyone to hurt, or feel in the moment

because it's easier than saying "let me pray with you?"

Trust me God knows I don't want to sound like Oprah.

To me trust ends with a positive fair outcome. I am trying to be teachable and see that with God this is not the definition he ever has to apply to him self. I guess I need to see trust as a confidence I have in God to deliver what he say's he will. Not give us more than we can handle. That he uses the things he puts us through so that we can be compassionate to others with the compassion he gave us. I know these things and I say them to others all the time. I guess in situations lately I just don't get how that is fair.

(I know God doesn't have to be fair. It just makes more sense in my head that way)

I wish I had the same "understanding" as Jackson. He just trusts me. Wholeheartedly. I mean granted he can't process things like I can but maybe that part of my problem. All he has is love and trust. Thats it. He knows he will be taken care of.

Now if it were only that easy.

here are some verses I have been praying with this weekend. I am trying to pray with scripture because I find my mind is to crazy to stay focused 5 seconds other wise. I didn't want this to sound "down" because that is not how I feel. I am a little encouraged to think that God may have me go through things so he can use me somewhere else. If it was always so pretty would we really ever grow? I am just trying to get better at the trusting thing, thats all.

I hope you all have a wonderful week.

Lovies.

Psalm 9:9-11

9The LORD also will be a stronghold for the oppressed,

A stronghold in times of trouble;

10And those who know Your name will put their trust in You,

For You, O LORD, have not forsaken those who seek You.

11Sing praises to the LORD, who dwells in Zion;

Declare among the peoples His deeds.

Titus 3:7-9 (New American Standard Bible)

7so that being justified by His grace we would be made heirs according to the hope of eternal life.

8This is a trustworthy statement; and concerning these things I want you to speak confidently, so that those who have believed God will be careful to engage in good deeds. These things are good and profitable for men.

9But avoid foolish controversies and genealogies and strife and disputes about the Law, for they are unprofitable and worthless.

1 Timothy 1:15 (New American Standard Bible)

15It is a trustworthy statement, deserving full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, among whom I am foremost of all.

A place to talk...

2009-03-08T00:05:00.000-08:00

I think sometimes I just want to talk. I want a place I can put the randomness that comes out of me down. I'm just the kind of person who works through things better like that.

I have a God that...

Psalm 139:14

I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

Wonderful are Your works,

And my soul knows it very well.

this is my yearning for the Lord to give Thanks. Something I'm working on as a child of his, a wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend. To think he took the time to choose me. It's overwhelming to say the least.

I have another blog that is all about Jackson . Check that one out to watch me swoon over my sweet boy.

This one is more a place to just talk about God, being a wife, and my life in general. Sometimes about all three and sometimes none of them. Sometimes I may just tell you about a cute top I saw or a neat idea I want to remember. See randomness. Who knows what your gonna get. I guess that will be half the fun.